Before I got pregnant, I was working on becoming a fitness model. Now that Sunshine is born, I am going to start on that dream.
5 days after Sunshine
Here's to the challenge of nursing and getting back into shape.
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Post baby dreams of fitness
My little Ladybug is now a big sister. Whoo. Birth was great. Sunshine was born fast and wanted to be in this world.
Before I got pregnant, I was working on becoming a fitness model. Now that Sunshine is born, I am going to start on that dream.
Before I got pregnant, I was working on becoming a fitness model. Now that Sunshine is born, I am going to start on that dream.
Sunday, June 29, 2014
5 things I can not stand people giving my child....
This is my personal list. You can agree, or agree to disagree. Each person is entitled to their own opinion. This is just mine.
There are 5 things I really hate when people give to my daughter. Weather it be as a random gift or birthday present. When I see some of these things I cringe and think of ways to get rid of it when she is not looking. I know, horrible mom right? Eh, if that is what I am, then that is what I am. But here is my list:
1.) Play dough. Yes I loved this when I was little. I loved making a mess. But that is exactly what it does. It makes a mess. The colors mix. My daughter gets upset because she can't find her favorite color. It dries out. I just cringe when people give my daughter this. When it gets into the couch it is hard to get out. I am still finding dried pieces of play dough 2 years later from my daughter's first birthday. I would never give this to any friends of mine with kids. It is just wrong.
2.) Stickers. Stickers are great for rewards. They are great once in a while. But my sister and one of my aunts gave my daughter sticker books. I loath those things. They get everywhere. I am constantly reminding my daughter to not stick them to the walls, the couch, the tables, her clothes. I have washed her clothes with stickers still stuck to them accidentally a few times. Oops. That was my fault. But then she wants to un-stick them and try to re-stick them to other things. Then she gets really upset when they do not stick to anything anymore.
3.) Candy or suckers without asking. I understand that people are being nice at the bank, or store, or friends and family. When people give my daughter candy without asking, or asking really loud, "Can she have this?" That drives me up the wall. Of course I am going to now say yes she can have it because you just turned her little 3 year old attention to the shiny candy/sucker in your hand. If you are going to offer something sweet to my daughter, ask discreetly. Under your breath. Not loudly announce it. Maybe she has just eaten. Maybe she is about to eat. Maybe she is in trouble for something. Maybe sugar makes her go nuts and I do not want her to have it. Whatever it is, please, please, please be discreet when offering.
4.) Puzzles. Great for brain development. Great for problem solving. Horrible for finding all the pieces again and trying to keep them in the box. Not losing them. If I lose one piece then it is the end of the world, and she will never play with it again. Where did that one puzzle piece go? Who knows. I can look everywhere for it. Move furniture. Take apart a room, and that one piece is gone forever, never to be found again. Maybe the dog ate it.
5.) Stuffed animals. What child needs another stuffed animal? Even before my daughter's second birthday I had given away 3 full trash bags of stuffed animals. AND SHE STILL HAS A LOT MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM. What is up with people giving stuffed animals as a gift? She doesn't even play with them. They sit on a shelf from day one and she never looks at them again. But if she knows I am coming in her room to take them away, of course she is going to get upset. So again like the other 4 I have to do this discreetly. She does not even realize they are missing.
When wanting to give something nice to a friend's child, ask the parent first. Or ask what they need. It is better then giving a child something that the parent is going to throw out. Or hate that you gave it to them. It isn't about being ungrateful, or unappreciative. It is just what is best for the child and best to not drive the parents up the wall.
There are 5 things I really hate when people give to my daughter. Weather it be as a random gift or birthday present. When I see some of these things I cringe and think of ways to get rid of it when she is not looking. I know, horrible mom right? Eh, if that is what I am, then that is what I am. But here is my list:
1.) Play dough. Yes I loved this when I was little. I loved making a mess. But that is exactly what it does. It makes a mess. The colors mix. My daughter gets upset because she can't find her favorite color. It dries out. I just cringe when people give my daughter this. When it gets into the couch it is hard to get out. I am still finding dried pieces of play dough 2 years later from my daughter's first birthday. I would never give this to any friends of mine with kids. It is just wrong.
2.) Stickers. Stickers are great for rewards. They are great once in a while. But my sister and one of my aunts gave my daughter sticker books. I loath those things. They get everywhere. I am constantly reminding my daughter to not stick them to the walls, the couch, the tables, her clothes. I have washed her clothes with stickers still stuck to them accidentally a few times. Oops. That was my fault. But then she wants to un-stick them and try to re-stick them to other things. Then she gets really upset when they do not stick to anything anymore.
3.) Candy or suckers without asking. I understand that people are being nice at the bank, or store, or friends and family. When people give my daughter candy without asking, or asking really loud, "Can she have this?" That drives me up the wall. Of course I am going to now say yes she can have it because you just turned her little 3 year old attention to the shiny candy/sucker in your hand. If you are going to offer something sweet to my daughter, ask discreetly. Under your breath. Not loudly announce it. Maybe she has just eaten. Maybe she is about to eat. Maybe she is in trouble for something. Maybe sugar makes her go nuts and I do not want her to have it. Whatever it is, please, please, please be discreet when offering.
4.) Puzzles. Great for brain development. Great for problem solving. Horrible for finding all the pieces again and trying to keep them in the box. Not losing them. If I lose one piece then it is the end of the world, and she will never play with it again. Where did that one puzzle piece go? Who knows. I can look everywhere for it. Move furniture. Take apart a room, and that one piece is gone forever, never to be found again. Maybe the dog ate it.
5.) Stuffed animals. What child needs another stuffed animal? Even before my daughter's second birthday I had given away 3 full trash bags of stuffed animals. AND SHE STILL HAS A LOT MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM. What is up with people giving stuffed animals as a gift? She doesn't even play with them. They sit on a shelf from day one and she never looks at them again. But if she knows I am coming in her room to take them away, of course she is going to get upset. So again like the other 4 I have to do this discreetly. She does not even realize they are missing.
When wanting to give something nice to a friend's child, ask the parent first. Or ask what they need. It is better then giving a child something that the parent is going to throw out. Or hate that you gave it to them. It isn't about being ungrateful, or unappreciative. It is just what is best for the child and best to not drive the parents up the wall.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
A mind blowing decision
My heart was so set on moving back home. I was ready to pack. I was ready to move my family. I was just ready to start new. Then a friend of mine, whom I have not talked to in a while and I started talking. He told me about a job opportunity that he thought I would be great at.
My mind changed.
I applied.
I got confused.
My anxiety lessened.
The thought of staying here, staying here so my daughter can see her dad. Staying here because the weather is alright. Not great, but alright. Staying here because I have made a life here. I have made friends here.
But my family is in Texas!!!!!!
In Texas there are no mountains. But there is a beach. Texas has my family. Texas has a new life. A new start.
I live in such a small town, that I run into constant reminders of my past and my mistakes. Oops. I want a new start. I want a new life. But I also love the life I have here with my daughter. I love that she gets to see her dad every weekend. (Great father. Horrible husband.) When or if we move, she would only get to see him summers, spring break, and every other Christmas.
The job I have now, I am not happy at. I have been there for 6 1/2 years. I not going anywhere there. I could transfer with my job to Texas.
The job I got offered, I still had to apply for. I may not get it. But it has better benefits. Longer hours. More money.
When I say longer hours, I mean I would go from working 30-33 hours a week, to 50 hours a week. I would be making a dollar less, but more hours mean more money. More hours also means less time with my daughters. Right now I spend most the week with my daughter. If I did get this job I would not be able to do that.
I am so confused!
So I applied. And I a going to see where this takes me. Hopefully I can make a decision about where to go in life.
My mind changed.
I applied.
I got confused.
My anxiety lessened.
The thought of staying here, staying here so my daughter can see her dad. Staying here because the weather is alright. Not great, but alright. Staying here because I have made a life here. I have made friends here.
But my family is in Texas!!!!!!
In Texas there are no mountains. But there is a beach. Texas has my family. Texas has a new life. A new start.
I live in such a small town, that I run into constant reminders of my past and my mistakes. Oops. I want a new start. I want a new life. But I also love the life I have here with my daughter. I love that she gets to see her dad every weekend. (Great father. Horrible husband.) When or if we move, she would only get to see him summers, spring break, and every other Christmas.
The job I have now, I am not happy at. I have been there for 6 1/2 years. I not going anywhere there. I could transfer with my job to Texas.
The job I got offered, I still had to apply for. I may not get it. But it has better benefits. Longer hours. More money.
When I say longer hours, I mean I would go from working 30-33 hours a week, to 50 hours a week. I would be making a dollar less, but more hours mean more money. More hours also means less time with my daughters. Right now I spend most the week with my daughter. If I did get this job I would not be able to do that.
I am so confused!
So I applied. And I a going to see where this takes me. Hopefully I can make a decision about where to go in life.
Saturday, June 14, 2014
When you change in a marriage....
I read this blog today and it really hit home: here
It is a blog about how people get divorced just because someone has changed. And the reason it hit home with me is because that is exactly what happened with my divorce. I changed, he didn't like it, he cheated. We divorced.
I remember having a conversation with my ex husband a few years after we got married. It went something like this, You have changed. I do not like that you have changed. No one changes. Why can you just stay the same? I stayed the same, why can't you? I remember sitting there and arguing with him telling him that everyone changes. No one ever stays the same. People grow. People become better. You laugh, you cry, you live your lives together. I know I am not the same person as I was when I was 18. Gosh I hope not. I grew up, I became a mom. I learned what my responsibilities were. My priorities changed from when I was 21. When I was 21 I worked, went to bars, partied. When I became a mom 4 years later, of course my priorities changed. I changed as a person. I bettered myself for my child.
It is all too easy for people to just give up just because one morning they wake up and do not see the person they married. I, for one, think that is a great thing. Why would you want to wake up next to the same person you married?
Marriage is all about work. You have to work to stay together. You have to work to be better, do better. That is another conversation my ex and I had. I do not want to have to work at a relationship. I just want it to come easily. Why can't it just work between us? Why do we have to work at this?
I am not a relationship guru. I have just been through a marriage and divorce. The people who I get my advice from are my parents who have stayed together for 20+ years. Anytime I have ever needed advice I have always gone to them. They are the one's who informed me that marriage is work, and I was willing to put the work in. I was willing to grow with my PARTNER. Because that is what a marriage is. It is a partnership. You are two people growing, learning, sharing, and trying to live one life together.
So next time you wake up and look at the significant other and think, "jeez they have changed." Look at how they have changed. No one ever stays the same. We are constantly growing and that is a great thing.
It is a blog about how people get divorced just because someone has changed. And the reason it hit home with me is because that is exactly what happened with my divorce. I changed, he didn't like it, he cheated. We divorced.
I remember having a conversation with my ex husband a few years after we got married. It went something like this, You have changed. I do not like that you have changed. No one changes. Why can you just stay the same? I stayed the same, why can't you? I remember sitting there and arguing with him telling him that everyone changes. No one ever stays the same. People grow. People become better. You laugh, you cry, you live your lives together. I know I am not the same person as I was when I was 18. Gosh I hope not. I grew up, I became a mom. I learned what my responsibilities were. My priorities changed from when I was 21. When I was 21 I worked, went to bars, partied. When I became a mom 4 years later, of course my priorities changed. I changed as a person. I bettered myself for my child.
It is all too easy for people to just give up just because one morning they wake up and do not see the person they married. I, for one, think that is a great thing. Why would you want to wake up next to the same person you married?
Marriage is all about work. You have to work to stay together. You have to work to be better, do better. That is another conversation my ex and I had. I do not want to have to work at a relationship. I just want it to come easily. Why can't it just work between us? Why do we have to work at this?
I am not a relationship guru. I have just been through a marriage and divorce. The people who I get my advice from are my parents who have stayed together for 20+ years. Anytime I have ever needed advice I have always gone to them. They are the one's who informed me that marriage is work, and I was willing to put the work in. I was willing to grow with my PARTNER. Because that is what a marriage is. It is a partnership. You are two people growing, learning, sharing, and trying to live one life together.
So next time you wake up and look at the significant other and think, "jeez they have changed." Look at how they have changed. No one ever stays the same. We are constantly growing and that is a great thing.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Something controversial...
These are MY views. You are allowed to disagree. You are allowed to disagree. You are allowed to have your own opinion. Just like I am allowed to have MY own opinion. This is something I posted on my personal facebook page. I did edit it some, but this is just how I feel.
"To all my bible bashers AND bible thumpers alike: I am a Christian! *Shocker!* No I will not spoon feed you my beliefs. I will not ask you, "have you heard the good news?" I will not sit here and talk about God in everything I do. So tell me why is it that YOU shove me in this uncomfortable box of, "Well ALL Christians are like...." NO WE ARE NOT! "But omg if you are a Christian aren't you suppose to hate gays." WHAT??? Really??? No! "But that is what it says in the bible!" Oh yeah? It also says, "Love they neighbor as thy self." "Thy shall not judge less thee be judged." And where, along the lines of judging people so harshly did we forget the one amazing thing Jesus taught: LOVE. I have gay friends, friends who are atheist, friends who are Hindu, Muslim, friends who are Wiccan, friends who are Jewish. friends who are transgender. We are all made EQUALLY and BEAUTIFULLY!!!! Why should I look down on my nose at you for what you believe in and judge you? Are you happy? Great! Are you hurting anyone? No, awesome! "But omg IT IS A SINNNNNN!" So is divorce. You wanna throw the first stone at me for being divorced asshole? I will throw one right back at you. Eating fish is a sin, so is eating pork, so is entering a church while on your period, so are a lot of things. Why follow one thing and not the others? Why make that SUCH A BIG DEAL!?!?!?Stop being so hypocritical!!!! If you just had a hotdog and then turn around to protest a pridefest, or a gay marriage well jerkface, you have no idea the actual teachings of the Lord. So how about next time you open your mouth to me about being a Christian having the friends I do, be careful what you say because I will put you in your place real quick! And to those who are posting things about how much you hate Christians and our beliefs, please realize that we are not all the same. Do not judge all for what few do. *End of rant*"
I feel like people hide behind their bible saying this, that, and the other is wrong, without backing it up. There are a lot of things in the bible. But most of all it teaches how to love one another. Not to be judgmental. I am willing to admit, I am a sinner. I was born in sin. The Lord loves me for who I am and who he is molding me to be. He is this amazing father who is forgiving and loving.
"To all my bible bashers AND bible thumpers alike: I am a Christian! *Shocker!* No I will not spoon feed you my beliefs. I will not ask you, "have you heard the good news?" I will not sit here and talk about God in everything I do. So tell me why is it that YOU shove me in this uncomfortable box of, "Well ALL Christians are like...." NO WE ARE NOT! "But omg if you are a Christian aren't you suppose to hate gays." WHAT??? Really??? No! "But that is what it says in the bible!" Oh yeah? It also says, "Love they neighbor as thy self." "Thy shall not judge less thee be judged." And where, along the lines of judging people so harshly did we forget the one amazing thing Jesus taught: LOVE. I have gay friends, friends who are atheist, friends who are Hindu, Muslim, friends who are Wiccan, friends who are Jewish. friends who are transgender. We are all made EQUALLY and BEAUTIFULLY!!!! Why should I look down on my nose at you for what you believe in and judge you? Are you happy? Great! Are you hurting anyone? No, awesome! "But omg IT IS A SINNNNNN!" So is divorce. You wanna throw the first stone at me for being divorced asshole? I will throw one right back at you. Eating fish is a sin, so is eating pork, so is entering a church while on your period, so are a lot of things. Why follow one thing and not the others? Why make that SUCH A BIG DEAL!?!?!?Stop being so hypocritical!!!! If you just had a hotdog and then turn around to protest a pridefest, or a gay marriage well jerkface, you have no idea the actual teachings of the Lord. So how about next time you open your mouth to me about being a Christian having the friends I do, be careful what you say because I will put you in your place real quick! And to those who are posting things about how much you hate Christians and our beliefs, please realize that we are not all the same. Do not judge all for what few do. *End of rant*"
I feel like people hide behind their bible saying this, that, and the other is wrong, without backing it up. There are a lot of things in the bible. But most of all it teaches how to love one another. Not to be judgmental. I am willing to admit, I am a sinner. I was born in sin. The Lord loves me for who I am and who he is molding me to be. He is this amazing father who is forgiving and loving.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Why I hesitate to take my daughter to any public play area
My daughter is a bright, funny, adventurous 3 year old. I love to take her to go play at different places because I am a part time stay at home mom. She needs that fun time, and it is great for socializing since she is not in daycare.
Over this last year, I have noticed something that really bothers me, and it has made me very hesitant to take her to the park or any play place for that matter. I understand technology is a big part of our society. I see parents Facebooking, Tweeting, or just plain playing on their phone while their children run around playing. And here is why I do not agree to this.
You are missing out on some amazing times to play with your children if you are on your phone. I find it great when my daughter does something new, and wants to involve me. She gets excited to show mom how brave and big she is.
Today, I took my daughter to an outdoor play ground. There were a ton of kids around. Most the parent's were on their phone. I was one of the rare one's paying attention to my child and playing with her. Yes she made new friends. She had a great time. Most the kids were yelling for their parents to pay attention. It was sad to see that they were so involved with their phone they hardly looked up to see what their child was doing.
My daughter has been yelled at by a little girl saying, "I HATE you." And push my daughter to the ground while the parents were so busy on their phone. They didn't even notice their daughter was bullying my daughter. There was nothing that was done to correct this issue. Then when I, a concerned parent, actually said, "We do not act like that to others" to the little girl, the parents paid attention and I was the one who was the bad guy.
There had been times my daughter has been kicked, punched, yelled at, and bullied. I know bullying is a big concern in our society. And we can stop a lot of that type of behavior if we as parents pay attention.
I know parents can not pay attention to their kids 24/7. I am not saying to do that. What I am saying is put the phone down. Watch your child. They will smile that you are actually paying attention to them. It will make them feel important, and I think it encourages them to do more and play more. And maybe, just maybe, if more parent's put their phones down, it will stop some child from bullying. Just a thought.
Over this last year, I have noticed something that really bothers me, and it has made me very hesitant to take her to the park or any play place for that matter. I understand technology is a big part of our society. I see parents Facebooking, Tweeting, or just plain playing on their phone while their children run around playing. And here is why I do not agree to this.
You are missing out on some amazing times to play with your children if you are on your phone. I find it great when my daughter does something new, and wants to involve me. She gets excited to show mom how brave and big she is.
Today, I took my daughter to an outdoor play ground. There were a ton of kids around. Most the parent's were on their phone. I was one of the rare one's paying attention to my child and playing with her. Yes she made new friends. She had a great time. Most the kids were yelling for their parents to pay attention. It was sad to see that they were so involved with their phone they hardly looked up to see what their child was doing.
My daughter has been yelled at by a little girl saying, "I HATE you." And push my daughter to the ground while the parents were so busy on their phone. They didn't even notice their daughter was bullying my daughter. There was nothing that was done to correct this issue. Then when I, a concerned parent, actually said, "We do not act like that to others" to the little girl, the parents paid attention and I was the one who was the bad guy.
There had been times my daughter has been kicked, punched, yelled at, and bullied. I know bullying is a big concern in our society. And we can stop a lot of that type of behavior if we as parents pay attention.
I know parents can not pay attention to their kids 24/7. I am not saying to do that. What I am saying is put the phone down. Watch your child. They will smile that you are actually paying attention to them. It will make them feel important, and I think it encourages them to do more and play more. And maybe, just maybe, if more parent's put their phones down, it will stop some child from bullying. Just a thought.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Musings of a 3 year old
Kids say the darnest things. Currently I have a 3 year old, and I am 6 weeks away from having another girl. My 3 year old says the silliest things:
Mommy, you are getting big. Are you going to get bigger?
~Maybe kiddo. That is what happens when mommy has a baby in her.
Are you going to explode?
~No kiddo I will not explode.
Maybe you shouldn't get any bigger. Your butt is HUGE!
I had to snort at that. I have learned with a child you have to take things in stride. Here is an email I recently sent to my parents about my daughter.
Ah the fun joys of a 3 year old. :) Aspen has started this new thing which makes me laugh...pretty hard.
If she does not get her way, she will make a face at me, stomp her foot, and say, "FINE, I am going to my bedroom. You make me sad." Then dramatically RUNS to her room and lays on her bed for a moment.
Um ok kiddo. Whatever floats your boat. It makes me laugh because she puts herself in timeout for throwing a temper tantrum, and she gets over it pretty quickly. She usually rides her tricycle back out like a dare devil after she is done with her tantrum and is happy as can be trying to run over Luna, or whomever else is in the way.
Sometimes afterwards she will come up to me and we will have this conversation:
"Mommy, do you know why you made me sad?"
"No kiddo tell me why I made you sad."
"Because you would not let me do....x,y,z..."
To which I usually respond, "Well kiddo, you make me sad when you act out like that. When I tell you not to do something and you do it anyway, mommy raises her voice a little because you are not listening. That makes me sad."
And Aspen being the little whip that she is usually says, "Sorry mommy, but Luna told me it was ok."
I am trying to control my giggling at this point. "Well kiddo, Luna is not in charge I am. You need to listen to me ok?"
"Ok mommy." Then walks up to Luna: "You got me in trouble." Walks over to her tricycle glaring at Luna and takes off like the wind. Again running over anyone in her way.
To which I am left standing there laughing.
(Luna is our dog)
This child gives me such joy.
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