My heart was so set on moving back home. I was ready to pack. I was ready to move my family. I was just ready to start new. Then a friend of mine, whom I have not talked to in a while and I started talking. He told me about a job opportunity that he thought I would be great at.
My mind changed.
I applied.
I got confused.
My anxiety lessened.
The thought of staying here, staying here so my daughter can see her dad. Staying here because the weather is alright. Not great, but alright. Staying here because I have made a life here. I have made friends here.
But my family is in Texas!!!!!!
In Texas there are no mountains. But there is a beach. Texas has my family. Texas has a new life. A new start.
I live in such a small town, that I run into constant reminders of my past and my mistakes. Oops. I want a new start. I want a new life. But I also love the life I have here with my daughter. I love that she gets to see her dad every weekend. (Great father. Horrible husband.) When or if we move, she would only get to see him summers, spring break, and every other Christmas.
The job I have now, I am not happy at. I have been there for 6 1/2 years. I not going anywhere there. I could transfer with my job to Texas.
The job I got offered, I still had to apply for. I may not get it. But it has better benefits. Longer hours. More money.
When I say longer hours, I mean I would go from working 30-33 hours a week, to 50 hours a week. I would be making a dollar less, but more hours mean more money. More hours also means less time with my daughters. Right now I spend most the week with my daughter. If I did get this job I would not be able to do that.
I am so confused!
So I applied. And I a going to see where this takes me. Hopefully I can make a decision about where to go in life.
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